Playlist: A Theme Song for Every NBA Team

Tuesday night marks the beginning of the new NBA season. Some teams are contenders, others are on the bubble for a playoff spot, and a handful of teams are already booking their summer vacation plans. Here’s a theme song for every NBA team as they begin the 2015-16 NBA season.

Atlanta Hawks

“Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”, Green Day

I really hope you guys enjoyed last year.

Boston Celtics

“Young, Wild, & Free”, Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa

No pressures, no expectations. Enjoy yourselves out there.

Charlotte Hornets

“Marvins Room”, Drake

“Are you drunk right now?”

Chicago Bulls

“My Last”, Big Sean & Chris Brown

Riiiiight on the brink of a rebuild. Can they get it done?

Cleveland Cavaliers

“If I Ain’t Got You”, Alicia Keys

Just substitute “you” for “LeBron” and it’ll make sense.

Dallas Mavericks

“Memories (Part II)”, Big Sean ft. John Legend

Now is probably a good time to start reminiscing.

Denver Nuggets

“No Lie, 2 Chainz ft. Drake

Both Kenneth Faried and 2 Chainz have dreadlocks.

It’s also no lie how awful they’re gonna be.

Detroit Pistons

Live This Life”, Big Sean

Big Sean is from Detroit, so here’s my favorite Big Sean song. That’s about all I can say.

Golden State Warriors

“Big Rings”, Drake & Future

Rest on your laurels, Warriors. For now.

Houston Rockets

I Don’t Wanna Be In Love”, Good Charlotte

Man, I just cannot stand Dwight and James Harden. But this is a very good team.

Indiana Pacers

“Where Did My Baby Go”, John Legend

Where did that Eastern Conference Finals team that almost beat LeBron go…

LA Clippers

“Reality Show”, T-Pain

I mean, seriously. Look at the personalities.

LA Lakers

“Alright”, Kendrick Lamar

Don’t worry, Lakers fans. You guys are in good shape.

Memphis Grizzlies

“Grindin'”, Clipse

Image result for memphis grizzlies grindhouse

Miami Heat

“Heaven”, John Legend

“Where the end will go, will I ever know…heaven only knows.”

Milwaukee Bucks

Beware”, Big Sean, Lil Wayne, Jhene Aiko

The rest of the league should be on notice. Maybe not this year. But soon.

Minnesota Timberwolves

“We Are Young”, fun.

Enjoy very many alley oops and very few wins. But they’re on their way.

New Jersey Nets

Y.A.S.”, Trey Songz

Look up the acronym. You’ll get it.

New Orleans Pelicans

“One Man Can Change the World”, Big Sean ft. John Legend & Kanye West

We’re looking at you, Brow.

New York Knicks

“So Far to Go”, J Dilla

You have come so far, you’ve got soooooooo far to go, New York.

Oklahoma City Thunder

“No Church In the Wild”, Kanye West & Jay-Z

If you don’t watch Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant and don’t immediately think of ferocious hyenas and lions and pounding drums, you’re watching the NBA wrong.

Orlando Magic

“Croatian National Anthem 1”

This is Mario Hezonja’s world, and we’re just living in it.

Philadelphia Sixers

Young Forever”, Jay-Z ft. Mr. Hudson

Are they ever going to grow up and have, you know, actual pros?

Phoenix Suns

“Blah Blah Blah”, Rich Homie Quan

Is there anything exciting about this team?

Portland Trail Blazers

“Highway to Hell” , AC/DC

Nowhere to go but down, fellas.

Sacramento Kings

“Complicated”, Avril Lavigne

WHY IS EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS TEAM SO WEIRD

San Antonio Spurs

“Who Gon Stop Me”, Kanye West & Jay-Z

….will anyone….?

Toronto Raptors

6 God”, Drake

Could it really have been anything else?

Utah Jazz

In a Sentimental Mood”, Duke Ellington

  1. I’m pretty sure this is the only existing correlation between the state of Utah and actual jazz.
  2. Gosh, remember Karl Malone and John Stockton? Those were the days.

Washington Wizards

Time of Our Lives”, Ne-Yo

John Wall is one of the most exciting young players in the league. Buckle up.

It’s gonna be a fun season.

About the author

Ethan Levy

Ethan Levy is a sophomore in Georgetown College majoring in Government. He's hoping his Late Registration for classes won't cause him to be a College Dropout, and that he can still walk across the stage at Graduation. Shameless Yeezus disciple.

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