Tuesday night marks the beginning of the new NBA season. Some teams are contenders, others are on the bubble for a playoff spot, and a handful of teams are already booking their summer vacation plans. Here’s a theme song for every NBA team as they begin the 2015-16 NBA season.
“Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”, Green Day
I really hope you guys enjoyed last year.
“Young, Wild, & Free”, Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa
No pressures, no expectations. Enjoy yourselves out there.
“Marvins Room”, Drake
“Are you drunk right now?”
“My Last”, Big Sean & Chris Brown
Riiiiight on the brink of a rebuild. Can they get it done?
“If I Ain’t Got You”, Alicia Keys
Just substitute “you” for “LeBron” and it’ll make sense.
“Memories (Part II)”, Big Sean ft. John Legend
Now is probably a good time to start reminiscing.
“No Lie“, 2 Chainz ft. Drake
Both Kenneth Faried and 2 Chainz have dreadlocks.
It’s also no lie how awful they’re gonna be.
“Live This Life”, Big Sean
Big Sean is from Detroit, so here’s my favorite Big Sean song. That’s about all I can say.
Golden State Warriors
“Big Rings”, Drake & Future
Rest on your laurels, Warriors. For now.
“I Don’t Wanna Be In Love”, Good Charlotte
Man, I just cannot stand Dwight and James Harden. But this is a very good team.
“Where Did My Baby Go”, John Legend
Where did that Eastern Conference Finals team that almost beat LeBron go…
“Reality Show”, T-Pain
I mean, seriously. Look at the personalities.
“Alright”, Kendrick Lamar
Don’t worry, Lakers fans. You guys are in good shape.
“Heaven”, John Legend
“Where the end will go, will I ever know…heaven only knows.”
“Beware”, Big Sean, Lil Wayne, Jhene Aiko
The rest of the league should be on notice. Maybe not this year. But soon.
“We Are Young”, fun.
Enjoy very many alley oops and very few wins. But they’re on their way.
New Jersey Nets
“Y.A.S.”, Trey Songz
Look up the acronym. You’ll get it.
New Orleans Pelicans
“One Man Can Change the World”, Big Sean ft. John Legend & Kanye West
We’re looking at you, Brow.
New York Knicks
“So Far to Go”, J Dilla
You have come so far, you’ve got soooooooo far to go, New York.
Oklahoma City Thunder
“No Church In the Wild”, Kanye West & Jay-Z
If you don’t watch Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant and don’t immediately think of ferocious hyenas and lions and pounding drums, you’re watching the NBA wrong.
“Croatian National Anthem 1”
This is Mario Hezonja’s world, and we’re just living in it.
“Young Forever”, Jay-Z ft. Mr. Hudson
Are they ever going to grow up and have, you know, actual pros?
“Blah Blah Blah”, Rich Homie Quan
Is there anything exciting about this team?
Portland Trail Blazers
“Highway to Hell” , AC/DC
Nowhere to go but down, fellas.
“Complicated”, Avril Lavigne
WHY IS EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS TEAM SO WEIRD
San Antonio Spurs
“Who Gon Stop Me”, Kanye West & Jay-Z
“6 God”, Drake
Could it really have been anything else?
“In a Sentimental Mood”, Duke Ellington
- I’m pretty sure this is the only existing correlation between the state of Utah and actual jazz.
- Gosh, remember Karl Malone and John Stockton? Those were the days.
“Time of Our Lives”, Ne-Yo
John Wall is one of the most exciting young players in the league. Buckle up.
It’s gonna be a fun season.